FML即 Fuck my life的缩写,直译的话就是“艹,我的生活烂透了……”
在你感到不舒心的时候去这里,你会顿时发现生活原来没有最倒霉,只有更倒霉。
Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I’m straight. My parents thought different. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend is pregnant and then decided to break up with her. Why? We’re lesbians. FML
今天,我得知我的女朋友怀孕了。于是我决定和她分手。你问为什么?因为我们是百合。FML
评论: 这个分手的证据太明显了
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door "Are you jacking off in there or something?!" and him scream back at her "Shut up you f***inag cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Today, my girlfriend’s friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn’t tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML
Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend’s dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML
Today, my husband of three years told me he only proposed to me because his favorite football team was winning and he had been drunk. I had our second child three days ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend of seven months dumped me because if he ’ever wanted to get married’, he wants to ’marry a virgin.’ I lost my virginity to him. FML
Today, I flew into New Zealand to surprise my girlfriend on her trip. In the New Zealand Airport I recieved a text message saying she wanted to break up with me. I live in Michigan and just spent $1,500 for this romantic surprise. FML
Today, I went to my son’s soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don’t know some fat bitch." FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a f***ing stick for my birthday. FML